These few days had been messy for me.

Despite of all the good things happened and happening in this moment, somehow I feel empty inside.

Pure surviving doesnt make you a human, but living does.

Maybe its because of the fact that I cant go back for the third year in a row now for the most special event of the year.

I am not ranting nor this kind of experience is new to me.

In fact, I learned a lot of things in these three years and I really appreciate the moment.
Everything.

I always been told that tough things are for the tough guy so if you can bear with this little sacrification, eventually your name will be spell out equally with the word "successful".

Looking back into past few years I felt like I am always trying do things for people around me, not that I despise the way it was but I recently only come to think what is it in me that I truly want. I attended and tried everything possible around me, and I learned everything that come into my way.

You name it, I do it. This had been me for these few years.

I am not writing this to tell that I am the master of everything-you-can-think-of in life. But I tried to make something out of my writing. Hope that somewhere sometimes or some corner my words would influence someone and make a positive impact to someone. Or at least, result something in you. I wouldn't say I want to change someone, because thats not my primary intention. And changes is made within a person, not by external forces.

I used to think money is everything. So I chase it then come to realize that a lot of things are more important in my life. And that include you, you and you who are now reading this at this moment.

Now I am at the point of my life to think that even if I die with shitload of money, what will people remember me for?

Once there was a guy told me:
你是一个不是大好就是大坏的人

and yea, I think maybe he is true.

It cost you nothing to dream, but everything not to.