I always have an interest on garderning. Growing a flower, to be specific.

But the thing about growing flowers is no matter how much loves and cares you invested, it will wither anyhow. The good will come after those hard work but sadly and unevitably, bad follows.

Yet, everyone still goes for it. With the realization that it will leave you one day, they still try their best to extend the blossoming period.

I used to had a plant at home. Its my habit to water it everyday when I could because I really like that plant. Sometimes I will just sit under the tree aand do nothing. The mere presence of that tree makes me feel safe. Under the tree I just have to be myself and not have to act according to characters. With that tree, I feel strong.

But then things changed. Or should I say changing? I dun get to go back home that often as time goes by. It started with me having to leave home for two days, then slowly one week, then half month, and now 8 months. I witnessed how it changed everytime I went back . And I always ask my mum did they do anything to that tree and the answer is always no.

It just change.

But the truth is, I did like the way it grow for the first two years when I was able to care for it wholeheartedly. Its just so perfectly lined up and to be honest I would stay at my home forever just because of that tree. But then when I got away from home to pursue for further education. It doesnt goes on to the way I wish anymore.

The first year going back the tree is cool as it is, then I start to ignore it. I forgot its existence and I just left it grow at the backyard. The feeling of not watering it anymore is just in me, I was already used to treat it as how it is that time. Heck! Once you started to take things for granted, you wont stop.

Eventually, it comes to a point where I even forgetten how the seed was planted at the very first place.

Then until last year when I went back home I realize it was gone. The tree was bitten by pests so my family have to remove it from the backyard.
And to date, I still miss that tree and how that tree had taught me those untold lesson. Without this period of my life, I would be nothing.

And now?

Life goes on

You cant stop running once you started. Like how you cant stop breathing after you were born.

Back then I always will say this is "the best day of my life", but is that really?
I was 17 years old back then and there's still a long way to go in my life
To be honest, I would rather don't want to have the best day of my life yet.
If it happened already, what would be my life after that?
Knowing that the best was in your past is scary. There would be no point of living after that
I now live because there is a certain hope inside me.

"So, don't bring this day to me, cause I want to dream about it for the rest of my life"

My life had been on treadmill all the while. And it will still be. Its never simple, and I will never want it to be.

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