I made a discovery since the last trip back home. As time goes by, I start to realized that it wasn't the way I thought it is. Then it came a time when I got struck by this epiphany that maybe he was right, I failed to see through the relationship and thought that it was meant to be so it should be. The onrush of the sensory world occupied my attention so fully that only left very few rooms for logical thinking.
I never ask for anything better because its not for me to ask and I shouldn't. I thought its gonna get better and beyond. But now I am really scared, I scare one day I might even start to hate the very same thing that I stood up to fight for.
I am afraid that I might become those people whom I despise. Yet another side of me tells me that its okay to hate since there is nothing to love at the first place.
I somehow felt the curtain is closing on me. Maybe it was a mistake since the start. Maybe its something that you were forced upon and the only way is to blindfold your heart to go forward, or maybe its not a way at all since it doesnt offer alternative.
Thank you, for this good life, and forgive me for not loving enough.
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