These few days had been messy for me.

Despite of all the good things happened and happening in this moment, somehow I feel empty inside.

Pure surviving doesnt make you a human, but living does.

Maybe its because of the fact that I cant go back for the third year in a row now for the most special event of the year.

I am not ranting nor this kind of experience is new to me.

In fact, I learned a lot of things in these three years and I really appreciate the moment.
Everything.

I always been told that tough things are for the tough guy so if you can bear with this little sacrification, eventually your name will be spell out equally with the word "successful".

Looking back into past few years I felt like I am always trying do things for people around me, not that I despise the way it was but I recently only come to think what is it in me that I truly want. I attended and tried everything possible around me, and I learned everything that come into my way.

You name it, I do it. This had been me for these few years.

I am not writing this to tell that I am the master of everything-you-can-think-of in life. But I tried to make something out of my writing. Hope that somewhere sometimes or some corner my words would influence someone and make a positive impact to someone. Or at least, result something in you. I wouldn't say I want to change someone, because thats not my primary intention. And changes is made within a person, not by external forces.

I used to think money is everything. So I chase it then come to realize that a lot of things are more important in my life. And that include you, you and you who are now reading this at this moment.

Now I am at the point of my life to think that even if I die with shitload of money, what will people remember me for?

Once there was a guy told me:
你是一个不是大好就是大坏的人

and yea, I think maybe he is true.

It cost you nothing to dream, but everything not to.

Walking down the road today I think to myself. Is there really such thing as unconditional love? Not being religion wise here but really is there any?

I would say the love to self is really the only unconditional one. Whatever you do, you will still love yourself. Even for those who totured themselves to dead, they are still doing it out of love because of the belief of toturing will bring them to who-knows-where. We cant love others more than we love ourself. At least thats what i think.

I know what I want in my life. But still, I constantly questioning about this. I examined myself everyday for I am not a perfect person and I know I never will. I know exactly the dos and don'ts for me to reach the goal of my life. But still sometimes I will do the don'ts because I know if I do enough of dos, eventually I will still get what I want. I never surrender to the word impossible.
If tomorrow never comes, I will still be glad because I have did enough of my part today.

Things start to change since I came here. I realized a lot of things doesnt really matter to me anymore. I can have this momentary happiness feeling grow from seeing people acting nice to others but as I take another glance looking deeper inside the intention I realized its all fake. As much as I feel like leaving this place for good but still I love this place. Its like how hard to get you to go jogging but on the halfway of jogging you will start to love it. This time of my life does have its purpose on me. We all were borned with questions. And what we do is to answer every question in life that we had.
I finally learned to not take marks as something that matters so much in life, rather I value the knowledge that I take home. I know in the future what I want is not about how much I scored for the test but how well I know about how this world operates.

I am a fond believer of discipline myself and acting kind to the other people. So I will jump out from this physical me and start to analyze everything I did. For better or worse, at least I tried.
I believe somehow there is someone that destined a path for us. And what we have to do is to find out where is it and walk till the very end.

But human are 'wierd', truth is only for those who choose to believe it. We all choose what we want to believe in life dun we? In that way we will feel so much better than having to believe something that is incongruent with our innate beliefs.

Its fall season now, the weather is getting colder as how my mind is now.
You have no sun, no squirrels, no T-shirt, no picnic, no leaves, no flowers. But what can you expect? Its NOvember!
Only when the road are full with leaves then we start to realized how amazing those trees used to be. It takes us three seasons to really look up to the sky and start to appreciate the nature around us.

They say autumn is the time of harvest, and I am. For knowledge.

I love autumn because of the smells that you can see and the vision u can sniff.
Its fall season. With death comes reincarnation. Its a new start for everything.

Ever had this sudden realization on something that could be so beautiful?
Its a kind of feeling that strike you in second but left its mark permenantly on you.
The fact is, its been there you for years but you never really know about its existence.

Funny eh?

Its been a week since I came back here.
Surprisingly many things still remain the same. Or maybe its actually under the comparison that I actually changed a lot. I felt as if every year I come back with the same body but different mind.
There are something that I thought I wouldnt care, but turns out i really care about .
so here I am, start on the blogging routine again.

I think I had already been through the stage where you will have sudden realization in your life that you had been sleeping through the previous years in your life. I feel alive and really living. Even a small event occured in bus can easily pick up my interest towards it.

Sometimes I still look back to the time where I was so determined to settle down with one girl and to form a family. For me now that is really an act of impulse. I now understand whats with the "too young too make decision" thing that I used to hear so much during my teenager year.
As painful as how the life is like, people have to still go on.

Dun get me wrong, its not that I refuse to settle down. Its just that there are still so much to see in this world and I think I still need time to discover the beauty of it.

Remember how I say I want to be more alive and live out every bit of my life?

I think I did it.

Saw this picture on the internet days ago, I think its interesting so I save it to my computer and share it with you all

Nobody is happy unless you are satisfied with what you already have.

:)

Stop jealousing and start loving.

I might not be updating this blog that often when I go back Msia. Its just how the way it is. Life is bigger than online back in Msia. But at here online is like my everything.

Till then. Good luck everyone for whatever test you had, having or will be having.
(This is why sometimes english is better than mandarin)

I am quite surprise when I heard "You have the look" again from a new friend of mine today.

Somehow I thought its something that people will only realize when they actually talked to me.

"the look" is the so called psychology look.

Its like N times that I heard this from my friend and I am still wondering what in me that potrait myself as having that look.

Maybe I really look like one, talk like one and write like one.

But one thing I can be sure is. I never regret of choosing this, and never will.

Picture says it all, cuteness overload!!!

Sometimes I will ponder about the pros and cons of olympic.

Its good cause everyone come here and spend money.

But I really dun understand why the clothing brand need to prostitude themself to the event. What is the skating shoes do with the cloth? Cant they just dress up the doll normally?
And basically every shop does it. WHY?

Anyway, its just my two cents. No offence

Life has been good to me recently,

I learnt a lot

I realized that self fullfilling prophecy really exist in this world. People will fill in the details they want thus perceiving this world as what they thought how it should be like.

Education cant provide us a line that distinguish what is correct and what is wrong for us. Everyone has their own ruler. There are too many jabronis in this world, they didnt walk their talk. They show off to people around them saying how good they are and how are they going to do something impressive. Instead of saving power to face their life, they are bragging how hard is it for others to be in their situation, but do they really know how others' situation is like?

In a way they are trying to impress everyone, but are they?

Its good to share your experience with others, but its not when you simply assume that you are working harder than others because you thought you were.

Being a narcissus might make them feel good, or even people around them will also feel good about them, but only naive people.

And in the end, they got nothing other than a big mouth.

The problem is, when you made the most "tabah" person in the group pissed off at you, you should know what mistakes you have done.

Love it or leave it, thats life.

I feel like I have this very "lungism" principle to live out my life. I do what I think is correct and let god to decide the rest for me. When I know someone is not good for my life, I will slowly move out from his/her circle because I know the longer I stay, the more danger I would be in.

My law of live is simple.

If you treat me good then I will treat you double good.

If you treat me bad I will definitely remember it.

People may say that I am being mean to those people, maybe they just did mistake.

But you can never guarantee there wouldnt be second times.

I see how people live through scornful remark flabbily, and I think its wrong. I think there is a need for me to correct those who made scornful remark instead of swallowing it silently. I believe in laissez-faire. I know everyone has their own freedom of how to live out their life, thus I wont say I am the one who live out the 100% life over others.

Of course I am not a perfect person, I do have my flaw as well.

*end of bragging

__________________________________________________________________

Recently I found that I had a very good ability on recognizing faces, I can nearly recognize everyone from my class even though I had never talk to them before. Maybe a big chunk of my brain had been using up to recognize face, that why I cant do great in study :(

Some funny thing to share, someone say I look like this guy few days ago.

Michael Cera

acted in Superbad and Juno.

So I attach my own pic here for comparison.

They now call me Asian Michael Cera.

囧

When you compare the last year you and this year you,

you will always find a difference, or differences.

Its not until this year that I found I had actually settled down

I am not again acting like a little kid who miss home every moment abroad.

I somehow already get used to what I had here.

Not that I forgot how my previous years were like, but its just that I recognized something new into my life.

Waking up to study, going to class, meet new people is like a daily routine for me here.

Truth to be told, I will definitely miss here if I am gone.

I mean of course there is a reason why Vancouver is one of the best city to live on Earth.

The first year me was a totally novice of how to live out a life here.

Second year I start to get something from what fate had brought me to.

And I am sure for the next year, next next year, I will learn more and more

Like what the proverb said
"Learn for yesterday, live fore today, hope for tomorrow"

And so I thought

The day was nice, in fact it was nice for the whole week.

So I went down to Wreck beach to take this picture.

It wasn't an once in a week thing for anyone to go down there (at least for me) because you will need to climb the hell long 473 counted step to get up to University land again.

Some people do it for health, and some for "pleasure on eyesight"

And me, I am for picture.(at least for that day)

Sunset always meant something to me.

Like its the end of the day, but wait, there ARE still tomorrows.

It sort of remind you what you had left out for today and remind you to do it for the sake of tomorrow.

Every second of sunset was precious, you can see everyone staring at the same side of the earth just to indulge every single moment of the beauty.

Just so you know.

Alone could be fun something, it makes you think.

especially before the very moment of breaking down. :)

Beyond the sunset, there is where you will find me.

And I know every after sunset, I get nearer to my goals.

I am having this problem of producing three in a Canadian way

When I was in class, I said three and people will say "what?"

Then I say again "THREE"

*shaking my tounge when I was saying the word*

Again, "what?"

I swear at that moment I would like to shout out "p"

But I didnt for sure, I was in a class anyway.

I realize that this is my own problem when I went to an aquarium shop

I said:

"I am sorry but I want to get three fishes"

"There are two in there."

"No, I mean three"

"There are already two inside!"

So I take off my shoes and show him how to count finger.

My left hand middle finger, right hand middle finger, and my left leg middle finger

He understood me immediately. I am so proud

Ever had an exam that you got absolutely no enough time to finish it?

I am not a very bright student in every class I would say

but the only good thing about me is I am fast.

I cant hardly recall any of it that I cant finish on time and not leaving early

The exam is totally ridiculously ironically purposely sally made up.

Even the professor was telling us that:" For sure you guys wouldn't be able to finish the exam, so DO the part that YOU THINK you will do most well."

but whats the point?

So there it is, 5 question, consists of at least 12 sub questions for each
total up 150 marks.

And my prediction would be that no one can get higher than 50% for the test.

By the way, the feeling of having only done half of the paper and hearing "10 minutes left" really boost you up to a level than you can never imagine. You will speed up real fast.

For one second you were still at the first half of the exam paper, the next you had done crapping for the rest of the paper.

But what the heck eh?

I finally had it today :)

Its funny when its Halloween,



You feel weird by wearing normal cloth going around the street

Cause everyone beside you are someone! They are all "someone" that you know.



Even taking a bus might make you feel weird :S

The fact is, this is the day that I will have one more hours to sleep or do my stuff.

But I happen to think that what if I died in one of the Daylight Savings Time months and never got that hour back?

Wouldn't that be depressing?

It would be for me at least :(

The ironic things happen when you are abroad is that

You make comparison.

But I find it particularly funny that when I am here, I tend to hate those things that I like back in Malaysia.

I like raining in Malaysia but not here
I like cold weather in Malaysia but not here
I like to go out and run during cloudy period but not here
I like to go out at night yam cha but not here


And the list goes on and on and on

But still, I am proud to say that food and sleep is so much loved for every places I have been in this world.
:)

p/s:Its the other version of the kissing fish picture, yes Its different!

With an ice-cream on the hand means that.
Spring, is here
No more coldness and small pXXXses.

And no more Seasonal Affective Syndrome.




Flowers are everywhere.







My fren come ove this few days before we all depart to Hong Kong, and so I took him to some Vancouver so called "attraction".
It was fun.





And yes, i go and kiss the fish again.

Did I told you I owned a Lamborghini?

Yes I do.

Days are near, few more days from going back home. :)

"Loveliest of Trees"

Loveliest of trees, the cherry now

Is hung with bloom along the bough, And stands about the woodland ride

Wearing white for Eastertide.

Now, of my threescore years and ten,

Twenty will not come again.

And take from seventy springs a score, It only leaves me fifty more.

And since to look at things in bloom,

Fifty springs are little room,

About the woodlands I will go

To see the cherry hung with snow.

1896

A.E. Houseman (1859-1936)

The good thing about spring is. You feel alive

Not like you get another live after u have had one.

But the feeling of rejuvenation after the deadly winter had passed.

You can actually see flower everywhere and you can sense the feeling of life blossoming around you.

Like those plants, they had survived another winter and so do you.

Life goes on and next, next next, and next next next winter is there waiting for you.

The bad side of the story?

The beauty of nature keep on distracting you from studying.

And when every trees are trying to attract people's attention. This one does too.

by growing out singlet. But hey! You can still wear it right?

It was a day with lots of passion and excitement.

Waking up at 9.

Which is actually earlier than usual, even weekdays.

Then going to swim at 3pm. Heading downtown at 6.

Things goes smoothly and yea, I finally saw my lover here in Vancouver.

I purposely travelled 30km away to see her.

I just cant reject her beauty.

For her, I willing to do anything

For her, I willing to spend billions of dollar.

For her, I willing to be with her and take her anywhere she want to.

For her, I willing to feed her when she needs it

I wish I can touch over her non-stop, and enjoy every inches of her.

She is just so fine and I really wish i knew how to quit her.
Her body is just so fine that everyone cant resist her beauty.

Je t'aime /^3^/

The evidence of I actually touched her

I am not like a very big fans of cars. But for luxury car, I am.
I still remember fondly when "The Dark Knight" sacrifice his cute and sweet Lamborghini on the road. The time it got hit, my heart was like bumped by a lorry.
I cant help but shouting out in the threater, it just cost too much for me.

The car show was nice, worth even penny of it.
I saw some rare car in the show like Lotus and Ferarri also.

I spent around two or three hour or so inside the show to try on some of my favourite car because I know this might be the very first and last chance I can touch on the car.
Who can actually afford those carsssss right?

So I tried to sit inside and get the feeling of owning the car for ten second or so.

FYI, I try on like 10+ cars that day.
The price is averagely cheaper if compare to Malaysia.

But still in the end, I can only manage to take back this one home.

Little sheep

Classy, elegant, yet not expensive.

Hey yo, Final is coming, chiong chiong chiong!

32 days more

UBC 15.12.08

Since I come here,

I realize quite a lot of things.

One of the very remarkable thing i discover here is "see first la syndrome"

Dun believe a word of that guy/girl if he/she is telling you this after u offer he/she a trip or something like that

Its definitely a big NO NO.

see first la=no

It somehow became a norm for people here not to reject directly.

Well, why am I hating this?

For a start, it makes you pretty difficult to live with. You dun even know whether you need to count him/her into the event if you are trying to plan something.

And the whole point is
You have a Decision.
Act accordingly

You remain indecisive
Means you are ignorant.

You are the decider, and you should be the one who decide on things

Here I am, longing for more sunshine in Vancouver.

yea, I purposely went to try the favourite fried chicken again.

This time is not other place but Vancouver.



I would say the Chicken is only still ok. Ok to put in mouth but not ok for KFC addictor like me. There is some different between the size, smell, and shape of the food here though.

here is the pictures

The special thing about potato smash. Its actually in a liquid form here. Where i cant have the feeling of biting the potato. You can only swallow it since its like a sup.

7UP here is bad too. The taste isnt so nice to me

And Coke do have a different taste here, but its ok for me

till then, tata

*Malaysia KFC still the best