Some people around told me that they have characters whom they never would have chosen had they choice over their history.
For me one's background and history is what build up who he/she is right now. Every incidents in life counts, including how you close the door this morning or even how you kicked away the rock that get in your way.

So I come to think about what consituted me. What exactly am I made of. Looking at those food product in the grocery saying "made in XXXX" makes me fall into deep thought myself. Where was I made in? And what in my life that make me feel that I am half eastern and half western right now?

There is no doubt about what I characterized myself as and where I recognized as home. But its the inside that haunted me. As more time spending at foreign country, I think the osmosis effect happen too me. For good or bad, I assimilated into the culture where people get drunk all day long, having only specialize in one thing but not the other, and all-you-can-think-of.

I realize that I start to note about the pros and cons about this world. There are always two ways of answering question. Culture is like water to us, and we are the fish.
Without having to leave the water, we wouldnt even know the existence of water. But when we were forced to leave the water, we will realized how comfortable the water was and how ignorant we were for not being able to point out the pros and cons of the medium.

I still remembered the moment where I sat down alone in the paddy field. The moment imprinted on me the sense of Malaysia as my home, the sense I have never been able to recover anywhere else in the world so far.
Every other place is foreign after this moment.

It always takes an absence for us to know how precious present is. Isnt it ironic how people never cherish the previous "good" moment and only regret afterward?

Shirley Lim, to me she is a totally westernized figure, but whats makes me different from her? There are time I try to ask am I really a Malaysian too.

If me isn't spell by only "m" and "e", what is, me then?

"Loveliest of Trees"

Loveliest of trees, the cherry now

Is hung with bloom along the bough, And stands about the woodland ride

Wearing white for Eastertide.

Now, of my threescore years and ten,

Twenty will not come again.

And take from seventy springs a score, It only leaves me fifty more.

And since to look at things in bloom,

Fifty springs are little room,

About the woodlands I will go

To see the cherry hung with snow.

1896

A.E. Houseman (1859-1936)

The good thing about spring is. You feel alive

Not like you get another live after u have had one.

But the feeling of rejuvenation after the deadly winter had passed.

You can actually see flower everywhere and you can sense the feeling of life blossoming around you.

Like those plants, they had survived another winter and so do you.

Life goes on and next, next next, and next next next winter is there waiting for you.

The bad side of the story?

The beauty of nature keep on distracting you from studying.

And when every trees are trying to attract people's attention. This one does too.

by growing out singlet. But hey! You can still wear it right?

Sunday 12pm is the time of the competition. Finally a big event here in UBC.

We are gonna rock the wal!!

Think back to those few months I was here, I actually tried around 50 restaurant all over Canada. Thats a great number I guess. Shall increase the number more.

Everything is fine, so far so good.

And most importantly, happy because spring is here :)

42 days =)

Time flies, I had been here for like half year already.

It feels like I actually did nothing much here for this half year. But then when I think back, I actually learnt quite a lot of things.
Studying abroad is not as easy as you think.

First you need to adapt to the culture, and then the people, then the weather. And the list goes on and on and on!

Poof! here is what I did for this half year.

August, 2008

The first week I arrived here, things are great. Great weather, great people. And great scenery here. I found that I start to love this country. Love the wont-make-you-sweaty sun here. I tried to explore as many places as I can here because I am that kind of butt itchy people who likes to see new things and experiences new things.

September, 2008

I felt that I cant leave myself out of sport here, so I start to train with the track & field team here in UBC. Much surprise, I cant perform well here due to the cold weather that I hadn't been used to. I always finish the training the last one and I tell myself I must do better each time.
But when the weather turning colder, my lungs cant take it anymore. When I am trying to sprint, I will experience serious pain in my lungs.
So I told my coach
"Coach, I promise I will do better and I will come back next year to join you"
And he said
"Go do it boy, I know you can do it!"
And FYI, the team itself have some Olympic candidates. I know I can improve a lot by joining the team.
And one more thing, I am the only Chinese in the team, thats why I told myself I need to do better when I am ready.

October, 2008

One month pass again and its near Autumn, the leaves had turned red and the scenery is just wonderful here. The temerature drop to 2°C sometimes and I had decided to stop running outdoor. I got to know a lot of friends and senior here and had a lot of outing this time. I feel alive.

November, 2008

The first ever Halloween customes party in my life. Its really fun to see people dressing in different way on the street. I mean how often will you see robin and batman are standing in front of you? Or how often can you see the "invinsible" man standing visible in front of you?
Its a great day and I decided that I will turn myself into a girl next year.

15 December, 2008

It snowed really a lot this year. I had the very first snow in my life. Its wonderful, but it makes you hard to walk in the same time.

20th December 2008

I snowboarded for the very first time in my life and it was fun! I promised myself that I will tried it every year and I want to master snowboard before I finish my study.

22 December 2008

The first Dong Zhi away from home. I realize that I actually going to spent some of the important Chinese festival without family for four years. Including Chinese New Year. I felt sad because its what shown inside the picture, you can eat what you suppose to eat during the festival, but you wont have the feeling of home and reunion with you.

December, 2008

Frustration strikes me hard. I had my very first sex here in UBC.

Not with people. But with my English course. I failed first year english course here. It fucked me really hard and once I thought that I cant wake up from the pain. But now I realize that without challenges, life is not worth a live.

end of December 2008
end of December 2008

end of December 2008
end of December 2008

end of December 2008

I went to visit Toronto and Montreal during winter break and it was awesome. The trip worth it because its fun to see that how much your friends had changed and surprisingly, some of them change a lot, in both attitude and their weight.

January 2009

First Chinese New Year without family was hard. I found myself in a deep depression that time. And I am longing for the smell called home so much. Some other things also happen during that time. Thank to my senior. She counselled me and I feel so much better right now. At that point of my life, I told myself "Come on! live a little!"

Then I said, I will never let other worry about me again

February, 2009

I had so much fun during the spring break, and it was the first time ever I went to a casino. It totally was a fantastic experience because we (or she alone?) hit the jackpot that night. I felt lucky that day. By the way, the money won was just enough for pop corn and coke. Because the money betted wasn't much but it does triple up the money. Anyway, I felt contented because I ticked one more thing in my to-do-list.

This is not like a sentimental post, but I will let u see the pro and cons of studying here

Pros
-You will get to experience the four season which some of you might longing for it.
-You will get to touch the snow in real life
-You will actually see hot ladies walking by and wearing only bikini
-You will have some very great pizzas here
-You can actually wear more layer of cloth and become more fashionable
-You can lay on the grass and studying there and no one will come and say you are "siao"
-You can shout during Friday midnite and people will only say you are such a party King/Queen rather than throw you a slipper.
-You can hold your gf/bf hand and kiss them on the road without getting summons
- You will get the chance to buy those luxury branded things as here is so much cheaper than back in Msia
- To learn English

Cons
- You will miss a lot of big days
(if you are Chinese, you will miss Chinese New Year, Mid-autumn festival, Dong zhi and the list go on)(If you are Malay, you will miss Hari Raya)(Same thing goes for Indians)
-You cant go out run as frequently as you did, because of the weather here
-You wont have the mood to go out during night (should i put this in pros?)
-You will not be able to see your family for quite a long period
-You will miss the big day of couple, Valentine's day
- You will craving for any nice food because somehow your stomach just doesn't fit western food
- You can't understand why they like to get drunk so much
-You will need to bear with those who will routinely party during Friday night
- You will be crowned as "Asian"
- You will need to wear wear wear to go out, then take off take off take off to go inside the house
- You might feel tough to follow the syllabus as some lecturer love Canada so much and will only talks about Canadian issues in the lecture which u know nothing about it at all.
- You will gain fatsssss if you are that kind of one-scoop-will-be-fatter-type people



What more what more, there is soooo many more....

Well well, here come the story of my topsy-turvy trip
The first thing we did when we reached airport is check-in

The check-in system is fantastic.

You actually need to check-in using the machine provided which doesnt have any instruction with it.

You might feel that it is convenient, but it actually isnt, I would say that the system is bad. Like bad bad bad!

Everyone were stuck in front of the machine and wondering how to operate the machine.

WE completes our check in by 7:35am while our flight is at 8.00am

Phew~ I thought we will be on time.

But we are not. The next thing we saw in airport is in a chaos, tonnes of people with delayed flight were in airport. People are like bowling pins spread all over the ground. Some people wait for the whole day for their flight to depart from Vancouver airport.

And after been through much disaster (I shorten the story to prevent boreness)

We had boarded the plan, We were in the aeroplane and ready to rock the plane.

Plane delayed.

The total time of delayed time are 8 hours

And what pissed me off the most is we were in the plane and our butt is on the chair for like 6 hours.
Oh~~~Air KANada~~~~

They swipe away the snow from the plane when everyone is inside, couldn't they think of a better way to do it? Or just do it before they let the passenger board to the plane?

I mean I would rather stay inside the airport than to stay inside the plane. At least I dun need to ee those overage Air Stewardesses.

Ok. Case close.*you bet*

It continues with water leakage

It looks like they were asking water from the Air Stewardesses but they weren't.

Well. There is more things come out

We were starving in the plane. Who dun get hungry after waiting for like 8 hours and on a 4 hours flight? Thats like half day already man!

But still, they only sell chips and chocolate.

I swear I was starving that time and I was imaginating those Air Stewardesses' legs as drumstick which allow me to bite on it.

Again, problem comes again.

The flight is smooth and it finally reached its destination.

Then the captain said:

"I know you all are getting bore with my sound but I still need to inform you all that now Toronto airport have no gateway to let the aeroplane "parking"

WHAT??? another half hour gone again.

And then, comes the best part. Delayed luggage.

I tried to call the airport and the Air KANada for three days but no one answer it.

Then I went to the airport because I havent bath for like three days and my legs are smelly ennough to kill a fly who usually travel around on the shit.

Then the staff there told me.

"There are like thousande of luggage there, you should be lucky enough to find one"

When I go in, its like a chaos, luggages are everywhere. Its like somebody DIYed and left their white stuff all over the place.

So after some effort of searching, we finally found our beloved luggage.

We actually spend three days sharp to get our luggage.

Salute you!

Oh KANada~~~~its not other than that finger that we use to express ourselves

22.12.08
My winter trip start with a not so pleasant experience, delayed plane, delayed luggage frustruated me and ruin my mood here.


Anyway, ,will try to catch up with better mood for this trip. Afterall, we are all the master of our thought right?

Will update with picture and stories soon
Stay tune

hope i wont be freezing outside with three layers of clothes here in Toronto as i still cant get my luggage here. Blah

Ice Milk tea, or better known as teh ais is always my biggest addiction

Here is some milk teas I tried in Vancouver so far

comment on it?

Mamak is so much better than this.

I had been here for like three months plus, and I learnt quite a lot of things

In here, I learnt how to talk to myself and understand myself

In here, I learnt that friendship is more important than anything else in this world other that family.

In here, I learnt to be flexible and obey the law

In here, I learnt that there are still so much things that we dunno about this world, including apples' name

In here, I learnt how to raise my hand and ask question in class. As well as speaking out myself in class

In here, i learnt how to stay focus in 200+ students class

In here, I learnt to enjoy myself as there might not be tomorrow

In here, I learnt how to communicate with stranger, and spread love to everyone

In here, I learnt to say "May I" instead of "I want" when I order foods

In here, I learnt that there are nice people everywhere, no matter you are in any part of the world

In here, I learnt that there are problems in any country in the world, no matter how great it was

And most importantly, I learnt that to fly high, we must land first so that we are able to do so