Finally got time to write the feeling of the two weeks trip back home for the long missed Chinese New Year.Honestly, I was holding a rather skeptical view toward heading back home due to the previous conflict we had, in fact I wasn't even that much excited when I was packing. But thankfully, I proved to be wrong later, it was definitely the best trip back home I had.
Conversation with mum was the particular interesting one, you can never ask for a better mum like her. The conversation with her in that two weeks was beyond any summer that I spent with her.
Things have changed, so as the topic we talked about. She now tells me I have to prepare some money for the future wedding to come. And even my bro already talks about how he 's gonna help take care of my kid in the future. Same things goes to friends, we start to talk about business and how this and that might be profitable in long term.
Its so obvious that we all are aging and growing. Judging from the sleepiness we get when the clock ticked 12 somehow tells me that its not the same anymore. 20 is a gap, once you cross over things just change whether you like it or not.
There's a funny incident happened between me and my two bros. There was this one day where we three went out separately at night for friends gathering. By the time I got back I saw my much older *erhem* whom I know rather don't like me to expose his age here already slept in the room. So I thought, wow, so no life then I went to sleep.
The next morning breakfast time my younger bro said to my mum while pointed to us: "These two already sleep like pig when I got home yesterday, so boring".
Well, you just cant compare youngness can you? Anyway, its all these little anecdotes of life that make our life memorable, and I am truly glad that I have them as my family members.
I used be the one who let rational won over in decision making. But this time is different, ticket buying process was so hasty with impulse + emotions. How I wish it was an one way ticket, the flight back home was really a torture with 10+ babies crying interchangeably throughout the plane ride.
Some had asked me would you fly 7942 miles for a kiss. I think I had the answer for it now and I never regretted it.
A fabulous home cooked-dinner sum up the last day for my trip back home.
What happened next haunted me. I left all my worries back in Vancouver and departed.
By the time I got back here I can hardly spell out the name of this once and not over to say, always familiar place. That two weeks got me fully detached from the reality that I had the luxury to escape from.
Sitting inside the train heading to the place I live I felt so alone, and its funny that the feeling doesn't strike during the painful 20 hours flight but only came after I touched down. Pain I say, but good pain.
Maybe the prolonged jetlag afterward is a sign for me to tell me that I still am not ready to take this all by myself. Few more months, I told myself.
Here I thank everyone who made this trip wonderful. Without you guys the trip would be just another dead boring car, train, flight ride. Thank you.
Study, get into good university then you will get a good job=good life.
That's it! No one will be there to tell you the exact way of how to get to there but yet your parent has it for you. The "ultimate solution" that will get you through life which you probably will never regret. At least they think it is "the way"
So I didnt have much speculation of how my future life will be back then. I attended school, hang out with friends, do a lot of homework exercises, and of course eat a lot of rice. Whether you do good or do bad, you have to finish what you have started, then only you can break free from the cycle and do the things you like.
Because "the way" is fixed, what you can do is whether to do it in a faster and easier way, or take it the rough way. There is no option, either you go to university, or you are a failure. It just matters so much to parent for their children of this generation to have at least a degree.
Having a degree means more money, more status and most importantly more stable in a sense that no one can deny its mere existence, albeit of its not-so-clear-utilities.
Sadly it is now more like a have-to-acquire thing rather that a want.
I once was a kid and all I had was a dream.
But when I walked further down the road, I question myself is it the A4 size paper with my name that I seek for, or is it the knowledge that I gained on the way acquiring it?
Is it how much you know or how many marks you get in a test that probably you won't even remember 10 years from now that matter the most?
I wonder. Education happens when there's interest, and I think many had drawn into this quicksand that ate up all those academic passion and love.
"Education is not preparation for life; education is life itself."
2011 was a year of fear and growth.
It was a good and bad year all mix up. But the goods definitely out win the bads.
It started with the San Francisco new year eve count down, which was well spent with Mr Jay Chou.
San Francisco was great, its a city so rich in culture and heritage.
Before San Francisco was the painful 8 hours plus drive from LA to San Jose. The entire 8 hours was peaceful with some snoring sound from the back of the car. It was a tiring drive but my music kept me well awake. The journey was smooth with some short stop for naps and coffee break. It was a night drive with barely any traffic, but occasionally some aggressive truck did pass by. The darn straight long road never seem to end all the way to San Jose.
It was a little scary when you are the only one awake in that space. It was a feeling more than just lonely. When the clock ticked 8:35, we reached our destination safely.
Jan
School started, back to old business, decided to move back to campus since taking an hour bus ride to campus is too much a of a pain. Classes was good, the weather was nice and not so much snowing like the previous 2 years. Met this wonderful girl in Jan and never look back ever since.
Feb
Feb was a month of nothing special other than going to lectures and tests. Haha, but the most important things to mention here is, I adopted the habit of brushing teeth every night before i sleep (no judgement is needed here). Back to Seattle for the Spring break and have the dim sum. One of my best friend got into relationship, which surprised me, and here I gave my best wishes to them.
March
March actually passed too fast without me even noticing it.
April
Was in exam period. Struck by the news of grandpa became really sick. Feel so helpless at that moment. Wrote a blog post about it but never published it. Its a bad timing but that's life, things just happen. My childhood memory with him is not clear for me. Except the time when me and my mum went to pass him the money and the simple greeting when we got together for a dinner. Life was never easy at his time, with Japanese occupation and needing to feed seven mouths.
Good news is he is perfectly well now, and I am really glad for that.
May
May was a month of big feast and catching up with friends and family. Went for karaoke session with family once I reach the airport. Had lots of fun and feel safe with the people you love around you. Had been missing too many good food that I have to take it all back within the four months window that I have back home. Met the girl of my life for the first time once I get down from the plane. Will never forget the way she looked at me the first time. Love is just something that you cant explain by words. Perhaps crazy is the word for this month.
June
June was a month of travelling, so was July actually. Went to Hong Kong, Macau and Bali for the second time. Caught a glimpse on where my future will be headed towards. Finally got to take a good picture Hong Kong night scene, still the best I have ever seen in my entire life.
July
This is the moment when I decided to cut the angel's wing not allow her to go back to heaven or to anyone else.
I was kinda tired of just existing before her arrival, I wanted to live. Sometimes before this I feel like my existence is merely for others. These questions went through my mind over and over again till I reached the point of not wanting to wake up from the dream that felt so real to me.
Later the India trip became an important transition point in my life.
You cant to be something that you are not, you have to be you.
You intensely love novelties in order to hate them more intensely afterward. Don't go chase for so many things that you didn't own. Cherish what you had, treasure what you possessed.
India was a trip of soul finding, and I found my way there. Was only browsing in Air Asia website then suddenly stumble upon the ticket and booked it. Not much thoughts was given that time but later it proved to be the best trip of my life.
Perhaps things are all in harmony all along before us, then money, power, and evil intention came in and destroy every best things in life.
Visited Korea in this month as well. The BBQ meat there is just too heavenly good.
August
August was about taking things slow and enjoying life as its best. Traveled in my lovely car with the love one. Stocking up things so that I wont be die of famine when I fly back to the cold country. Been trying out hotel in Kl as well. Found back some old photo and realize I was really fat back then. Like seriously fat.
Sept+Oct+Nov+Dec
These four months was all about stuck in the northern hemisphere. Spending most of my life alone here figuring out whats next in my life. Was trying to make a map for my future. Back to the gym routine, start to do exercise seriously. Got a guitar as my birthday present :D
was whining how i never got the chance to learn a musical instrument all the while but guess I go no reason to say no now.
Been working hard for my final years. Looking back everything just seems surreal to me. I have reach this point with a few regrets but much gratitude.
Also a dream kept haunted me early Novermber.
I frequently have this dream about me going into an elevator with only 13th floor and 17th floor button which strangely resemble the building I lived in now. I always refuse to step into the elevator because it seems too dangerous to me. And everytime when I take it, it will brought me to some place else.
I always take dream quite seriously, till now I still cant explain the content of that dream.
Am officially 23 in few hours time. I hope the year of 2012 will be a fruitful and rewarding year.
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